What I Would Have Said...

If you could have babies with chuck norris, your kid would be the most awesome creature in the universe.

Feb 19 09 Under

Why do you think that the best part of what it is of which you have agreed?

Jan 25 09 Wow-a

What was it like to have sex with John Travolta?

Jan 25 09 Curious

I've never considered stowing a watch in my ass for over a year, until hearing your heroic account of suffering and sacrifice. Now I store many handy items in there. A tire pump. A leatherman multi-use tool. Spare batteries. And a powerbar for when I need that extra burst of energy.

Nov 11 08 Yeti

I'll let you practice your dance moves in my living room if you promise not to invite Spike Jonze. Last time he came over he left me a floater.

Nov 12 08 smash

Who'd you suppose would win an old-fashion creep-off? You or Willem Dafoe?

Nov 12 08 Mikey P

Would you like some fine sham-panya?

Nov 13 08 Bret

More Cowbell, Yo

Feb 19 09 Sharifkaropr

The whole concept of 'eye contact' is hugely important to me too. Especially when dealing with plants. You can't trust them. I've always said that. I think we might be soul mates.

Nov 12 08 lia

What a view----To a Kill

Feb 19 09 007

do you not believe in proper punctuation?

Nov 13 08 trey

Woah! I mean, WOW!

Nov 13 08 Ashley Dee

Hei. Jeg er norsk. Kan du forstå hva jeg sier? Best for deg

Jan 24 09 Lars

I disagree!

More tambourine!

Nov 13 08 Puno

you scare me in a cool scary way.

Nov 13 08 ALR

scooch closer, dont make me tell you again about the scooching

Feb 02 09 Sean

more cowbell

Feb 02 09 anonymous

Mr. Tyson. In the Ground Works. With the cowbell. (You brought it on yourself.)

Nov 13 08 Mr. Tyson

One time I saw you in a movie and I said to myself, "Holy shitballs. That guy is fucked up." And I was right.

Nov 13 08 Jonathan

So are you cool with your daughter now? You disowned her publicly on TV once, right?

Nov 14 08 Sung

I want your watch....
You are one fine wack job!

Nov 14 08 phin

Must you dance in all your movies? Really? Don't break a hip.

Nov 14 08 Lorilei

If you really did child Brendan Fraser then you're just as dumb as you look.

Nov 15 08 TC

I hope you have some more cowbell.

Jan 24 09 Frank White

I wish I could get your accent down just right.

Jan 24 09 Scott

how did you get into every movie I've ever seen?

Jan 24 09 tom

So, have you heard this one? A duck walks into a bar...

Jan 24 09 CaptainTrips

Hello

Jan 24 09 anonymous

Hi

Jan 24 09 Mona

you are amazing

Jan 24 09 rob

hello

Jan 24 09 june

god i love your voice

Jan 25 09 zach

FUCK YEAH!

Jan 25 09 Dale

Say what you want, Cassandra will never be yours. SHWING!!!

Jan 25 09 mr. hipaflip

I love you

Jan 25 09 anonymous

It needs more cowbell

Jan 25 09 BrickZ

You were great in harry potter

Jan 25 09 liar

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Jan 25 09 chris

more cowbell

Jan 27 09 privdonut

You need more cow bell.

Jan 29 09 John

These boots were made for walken

Feb 18 09 Brady

Were those boots made for Walkan?

Feb 19 09 Anon

Dance with me!

Sep 04 09 LeChouchou

(I would just repeat everything he said and try and get his accent right while intermittently giggling)

Nov 12 08 Mitchell

Oh, and Angelina Jolie is your daughter, right?

Nov 14 08 Sung

I'm scared Mikey...Are these men gonna hurt us Mikey?

Nov 14 08 nir

hello

Jan 23 09 ben

bvbvb

Jan 23 09 xfgbxf

Who the fuck are you!?

Jan 23 09 not telling

i love my home without my wife

Jan 23 09 cian

i'm married, but strangely i still love porn. Thus, I have a problem

Jan 23 09 mushki

i had a growth/skin tag on my dick. then my gf told me to tie string around it. Stupid bastard, now it's 4 times the size, what should i do?????

Jan 23 09 stiffy

Dear Chris,
My penis is falling apart. Would you kiss it better?
Yours Sincerely,
Stalker

Jan 23 09 anonymous

i will never lick my wife's hole again. None of your business!!

Jan 23 09 anonymous

i used to be homophobic

Jan 23 09 anonymous

Chris, deeper man! fuck it yeah, deeper!!

Jan 23 09 anonymous

u whore!

Jan 23 09 fucker

i love you

Jan 23 09 nanna

Hi

Jan 23 09 Tom

you talking to me...

Jan 23 09 darkno1

Niggers

Jan 23 09 jack

hello

Jan 24 09 anonymous

No you bitch. Eat my cowbell.

Jan 24 09 sdf

guam

Jan 24 09 anonymous

so how are you doing tonight

Jan 24 09 anonymous

hey buddy

Jan 24 09 kevin

fuck off

Jan 24 09 anonymous

fuck off

Jan 24 09 Kevin

You left the oven on.

Jan 24 09 Walken's dog

Hello whats up?

Jan 24 09 anonymous

I don't think you understand what I am saying.

Jan 24 09 anonymous

With Mild trepidations of outlandish spheres I call and I beckon and we fall.

Jan 24 09 d.

What's the panic with the fish?

Jan 24 09 Ben

ass

Jan 24 09 Ben

lololol kekekekek rofl keoekloekod

Jan 24 09 rfrf

that fatboy slim music video u did shat me up more then any of ur other roles ..... dont take up dancing stay with acting

Jan 24 09 poor man

boooom bitch

Jan 24 09 connor

flibbbby libbby

Jan 24 09 ConnorIsWow

hhgdfhgfdh

Jan 24 09 anonymous

What up nigga

Jan 24 09 anonymous

Hello What is the problem here? Do you understand what is going on? You need some serious help you retard.

Jan 24 09 clamhiddea

I love you, meg ryan.

Jan 24 09 Nick

What the fuck does "a view... to a kill" mean?

Jan 24 09 Ryan

kill me

Jan 25 09 anonymous

you see, i have this rash... and i was wondering... could you apply, some cowbell? i need more cowbell

Jan 25 09 nieze

poop

Jan 25 09 anonymous

lol

Jan 25 09 lol

Was that scene in Hairspray as awkward for you as it was for me?

Jan 25 09 Amelia

Hey, how are you?

Jan 25 09 anonymous

hi. you look like a fag. I have no idea who you even are.

Jan 25 09 jimbob

You sir, are a dick.

And while I'm hear may I also add that you cannot act, that you are a terrible person and that I wish you would die?

Jan 25 09 Jake

you suck

Jan 25 09 ed

i would have said

Jan 25 09 Steve

Dear Universe,

Wtf?! I mean srsly...like...this is fecking bullschist.

GIVE ME MY HAYDEN!!!

Jan 25 09 Mrs. Nom Nom

I miss you terribly....

Jan 25 09 Mrs. Lovebug

Who does your hair?

Jan 25 09 Yeah...

you rock

Jan 25 09 me

I love you kenny you are really funny and smart.

Jan 26 09 eab

Hey how are you doing?

Jan 26 09 jade

I have seen the inner eight cirles of youur asshole... with a wee-whacker

Jan 26 09 bobsagit

i like your boobs

Jan 26 09 heather

Why are you so freaking scary looking?

Jan 26 09 hyfvfk

What I would have said...

to Christopher Walken

Jan 26 09 Last Week:

cowbell.
i have one.

Jan 26 09 tonyfuckfuck

What on earth are you going to do about that inflammatory disease in your throat?

Jan 26 09 Dave

hi i like you

Jan 26 09 anonymous

cheese

Jan 26 09 anonymous

pizza

Jan 26 09 anonymous

hello

Jan 26 09 anonymous

how are you

Jan 26 09 eric

that you smell like cat pee, but instead I lied and told you that you smelled like lavendar.

Jan 26 09 Simon

He's weird

Jan 26 09 Karl

You are amazing. The eyes are the window to your face.

Jan 26 09 Megan

BITCH PLEASE!

Jan 26 09 anonymous

I'm not too sure that I am enjoying this job

Jan 26 09 jon

I'm sure you will........agree.......that the ONE thing this world could use.......is MORE COWBELL!!!!!!

Jan 26 09 rick b

I really love your style of acting... but it is just missing something... maybe... just maybe... could you add a little more cowbell?

Jan 26 09 Hieronymus